summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
