So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
