I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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