So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
