I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize