youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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