Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
