You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
