It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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