girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I look better un-naked...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
