I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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