I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
