Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Did we literally take a cab across the street
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
