thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
