If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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