thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
