Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
