Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
time to smoke my breakfast
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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