I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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