careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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