Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
