you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
