Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
