She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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