It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
