I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
