you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
