I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
