I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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