You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
