Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
