Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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