any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
