...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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