i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
PANTIES FOUND
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
