so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
