Your face is a jimmy john
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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