It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
