32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
