i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
