I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize