How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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