Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
