We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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