did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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