have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
