I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
