i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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