That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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