escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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