HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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