Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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