I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
