I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
