I think my fart just growled at me.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Sober January is a disaster.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
