He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
