you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize