im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
